The Art Of Getting By
by Fanatical Alice
Summary: They are always dangling off the edge, ready to fall. She's the one who pulls him back.


Disclaimer ; i own a Gaara plushie, nothing else :P

notenotenote; Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

_Love is what we were born with._

_Fear is what we learned here._

* * *

**.**

**.**

**i.**

_The ghost's thick lashes blinked sadly. A single tear fell. _

"_I'm afraid I've lost who I was."_

_._

Sakura has been asked the same question to many times to count.

[It's getting old]

When she doesn't speak up in class.

[What if they disagree?]

When she let's people walk all over her.

[It's easier to just let them get their way]

She asks _herself_ every time she watches Daddy hit her Mommy.

[Those fists are supposed to _protect_]

"_What are you afraid of?"_

That's the hundred dollar question. What has her so terrified, that every time she tries to talk, every time she tries to voice her opinion, her throat closes and the words wither to dust?

They are like neglected roses in her mouth.

And no matter how she tries to encourage them to grow, they simply refuse to bloom.

Sakura decides she's a hopeless case.

[Because giving up is effortless]

**ii.**

_He watched her. His gaze was steady. She couldn't shake off the feeling that those eyes were familiar. _

"_I'll find you."_

_._

Sakura reckons the reason for her existence has been lost in God's filing cabinets.

She cannot protect the ones she loves.

[The few there are]

She shy's away from conflict.

[You can't stand up for anyone]

She is a waste of oxygen, stealing it away from an innocent with _purpose_ who could put it too much better use then her.

Daddy sneaks into her room again that night.

[Is this a part of his job description?]

And makes her feel even more useless, because she can hear her mommy crying through the thin walls.

[Please stop Daddy]

[You're making Mommy cry]

"_What are you afraid of?"_

**iii.**

"_I'm not ready," the ghost tells him._

_His dark brows furrow. "Why not?"_

"_I'm frightened. What if I don't like myself?"_

_._

Sakura tries to take her own life in the bathtub on a Tuesday.

[Not the best method of destruction]

The scars make puckered puzzles down her arms, her torso, her legs.

Funny how the one thing she _wasn't_ afraid of, in the end, was Death itself. She can't stop _laughing_. Mostly because she just like's listening to the sound.

It's so hollow you can hear the echo.

A twisted black rose. It's petals lay heavy on her tongue.

Her daddy looks at her like she's crazy.

[CRAZY]

Her mommy holds her hand begs her to come back to them. Where has her sweet little Sakura gone?

[SHE WAS NEVER THERE]

Doctor Tsunade gives her pills and an admittance form into the crazy hospital.

[This is a whole new breed of fear]

The rose snakes back down.

**iv.**

_His beautiful face pulls into a smirk. _

"_Then fix what you don't like."_

_She frowns. "That sounds difficult."_

_He takes her translucent hand in his own, as if they can feel each other._

.

Sakura likes it here.

[Because Daddy can't get you]

She feels guilty for not worrying more about Mommy.

[But maybe it's better this way]

The walls are all a quiet shade of eggshell blue that reminds her of the sky she so desperately wanted to join.

She has a roommate. Ino. Ino Yamanaka.

She is made of purple and

Bleached hair and

Piercings _everywhere_ and

A mischievous smile that says What's your name gorgeous?

[She's everything you're not]

Ino isn't afraid.

"So? Why are you here?"

Sakura wants to respond. She really _really_ does.

But the words don't flourish.

They never do.

Ino gets it.

"You don't wanna talk? That's cool. No one really does at first. But you'll get used to us. I mean, there are some pretty messed up people here. No joke."

Sakura smiles.

[Messed up]

Her insides are a jumble of crumbling vines and winter bare branches that poke out of her taunt skin.

But still. She likes it here.

[A tiny bud is forming]

**v.**

"_Don't be scared."_

_The ghost offers a watery grin._

"_To late."_

_._

Today, in the cafeteria, a boy with hair the color of sunshine welcomes her to the family.

Naruto is made of

Smiles and

Scarred cheeks and

Hugs.

Sakura can't remember the last time she's been hugged.

[Not even by Mommy]

It makes her cry.

God honest tears pour over before she can close the floodgates.

Sakura is mortified. She's sobbing like a baby in front of complete _strangers_.

But then a pixie girl made of

Blue hair and

_Palepale_ eyes and

Stutters

Takes her hand and says gently.

"It's o-okay to c-cry."

"Let it all out is what I always say!" Naruto cheers.

"Since when?" a brown haired boy ruffles the yellow head. "The only time you let it all out is on the crapper!"

Pixie Girl flushes brilliantly. Her entire face is a beacon. "K-Kiba!"

Everyone laughs. Thick and full and beautiful.

Sakura watches them, her fellow Crazies. Her tears still stream at a record pace, but no one minds.

[She's not afraid here]

**vi.**

_The ghost tilts her neck, creating an arch. He traces it with his long fingers. _

_And she imagines the feel of those calloused tips._

_He makes her feel alive again._

_._

It's another night in the Crazy Hospital and Sakura can't fall asleep.

She tries to blame it on Ino's snoring.

[But you know that's not the cause]

[You can hear him]

[His footsteps]

[His wet breath on your collarbone]

[His weight making you sink into the mattress]

She wonders if she'll ever be able to _forget_.

She dreads the day she'll be forced back into that apartment with a clean bill of health.

But for now, she concentrates on her momentary insomnia, and has a sudden desire to see the stars.

One of the girls, Tenten [such an odd name], showed her how to pick the lock on the door that leads the roof, which is typically used as a smoking hideout for the doctors. They think the patient's haven't caught on to their code for 'coffee break.'

Sakura wiggles the bobby pin Ino leant her in the lock. Three times to the left, five times to the right. And a satisfying _click_.

She pulls her sweater closer to her body and steps under the navy blanket, dappled by microscopic chips of crystals woven deep into the fabric.

It is an exquisite masterpiece.

[Sewn just for you. Just for now]

"What are you doing here?"

The brusque voice yanks her out of her trance and throws her back into reality.

[_Why?_]

A boy.

She freezes.

[Say something]

The teensy green bud is shriveling.

Her heart races

[a little faster]

Her palms

[sweat]

She

[panics]

The boy smirks crookedly.

"Nice bandages."

She stares dumbly at the compact bandages that encase both forearms.

As soon as he looks away, she scrambles for the door.

[Leaveleaveleave]

"Wait."

The simple command is enough to control her muscles and bones from taking a single step forward.

Sakura looks at the boy as he flips his hair out of his eyes.

[What shade is that?]

Because she never has she seen eyes like his.

Eyes that have shook hands with the Devil himself.

[And made it back alive]

"Don't go. Not yet."

[Almost]

**vii.**

"_Where will you go now?" he asks her. _

_She brings their hands to eyelevel so he can see how hard she is trying to squeeze his, and she cries. _

"_I can't stay here, can I?"_

_._

His name is Gaara.

_Gaara_.

The name rolls in the cobwebbed corners of her mind.

Gaara is made of

Sarcasm and

Knowledge and

Hell's Eyes and

Tattoos that say 'Love.'

She meets him on the roof again tonight.

[Trying to tell yourself it's an accident]

He is sitting on the edge, his legs dangling into empty space.

"What would you do if I jumped?"

Sakura acts without thinking.

[Are you afraid now?]

She sprints the length of the roof.

She throws her arms around his shoulders.

[He's so warm]

They topple back into a heap of tangled limbs and muffled groans.

When they have sorted themselves out, they are lying with their faces to the sky and the crowns of their heads touching barely.

Sakura opens her mouth.

[_speak_]

"You don't have to say anything," Gaara murmurs.

A little wider.

[SCREAM]

The sound bursts forth.

A lush red rose sprouts, winding up her throat, twining her tongue, and nearly flying out her open lips.

It petals dissolve as soon as they touch the air.

The veil is lifted.

Has the world always been so alluring?

"That's what I would do."

**viii.**

"_I wish you could," he whispers in her ear._

_._

[_What are you afraid of?_]

Sakura asks Gaara this same question during their twelfth meeting on the roof.

They've recently progressed to talking.

"Nothing," he answers stubbornly.

Sakura smiles at the sky.

"I'm jealous."

The English teacher that visits them once a week, Mr. Kakashi Hatake, wants them to write down their fears.

Sakura persuades Gaara to actually _attend_ class today.

They sit side-by-side in the back, next to Naruto. He gives Gaara a high five.

"Good to see you here, buddy."

Sakura gnaws the end of her pencil.

[What are you afraid of?]

Her initial answer would have been _everything_.

[But that's not true anymore, is it?]

She's not scared of Ino, or Naruto, or Tenten, or Sasuke, or Hinata, or Kiba, or Neji.

Or Gaara.

She's not scared of Kakashi Hatake.

She's not afraid of speaking.

[Not now]

She's not afraid of Death.

[But she doesn't think she wants to give herself up to it]

The thought strikes her like lightning on a clear day.

And all she can think is

[_of course_]

"Daddy,"

She says when Kakashi Hatake asks what she wrote.

"Me to,"

Gaara whispers in her ear.

So she writes it for him, because he can't seem to make his hand work properly.

**ix.**

"_Will I ever see you again?" the ghost demands._

_He smiles wryly. "I'm not going anywhere."_

_._

It's Visitors Day.

Daddy's _here_.

[Whyshehere]

He's closing the distance between them.

[Pleasejustleave]

He's hugging her much to tightly.

[Letmego]

"I've missed you Sakura."

Her rose is desiccating.

Leaf by leaf.

Petal by petal.

Darkness envelope's her in its unforgiving claws.

[_And then_]

Like so many months ago _he_ is the one to pull her out of her head.

A flash of blood red hair and

Hell Eyes

[That have never been so kind and fierce]

His fist connects solidly and firmly to Daddy's cheek, as if they are drawn together by gravity.

Things happen very quickly after that.

Gaara is on Daddy.

Snarling.

Crying.

And again, like so many months ago, she wraps her arms around his skinny shoulders.

This time she doesn't scream.

Her mouth hums sweet nothings in his ear.

Naruto is there, holding off the doctors who are trying to sedate Gaara.

"He's fine! Leave him alone assholes!"

Ino is helping Sakura to her feet.

"Come with me, baby. Shh…shhh…it'll be okay, hun."

Sakura doesn't see Gaara for a long time after that.

She can feel her porcelain walls

[breaking]

**x.**

"_I won't forget you."_

_._

Her toes curl over the edge.

The apartment complex reaches _upupup._

She never found out what happened to Gaara.

But apparently he'd had one to many second chances.

[Where are you now, Gaara?]

Sakura knew her bliss couldn't last.

No rose can stay blooming forever.

And as she's

Falling

Falling

Falling

She is not afraid.

[No one can touch you here]

Because she has a distinct feeling that she is not alone on her journey to the sidewalk.

His presence.

Mingling with hers.

They are kindred spirits.

And they are FEARLESS.

X

_She kisses him softly._

_Pretending that she can feel the crease of his chapped lips._

"_I'm not sure I know who you are_

_And I've right forgotten who _I _am._

_But I'm certain,_

_Somewhere,_

_I loved you."_


End file.
